Monday, October 25, 2010

2 Chronicles 20-24

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

20:13 - Meanwhile all Judah stood before the Lord with their little ones, their wives, and their children.
20:31 - Jehoshaphat's mother's name was Azubah daughter of Shilhi.

21:6 - Jehoram walked in the ways of the kings of Israel, as the house of Ahab had done; for the daughter of Ahab was his wife. He did what was evil in the sight of the Lord.
21:14 - Because Jehoram displeased the Lord, God will bring a great plague on himself, his people, his children, his wives and his possessions.

22:2-3 - Ahaziah's mother's name was Athaliah, a granddaughter of Omri. He also walked in the ways of the house of Ahab, for his mother was his counselor in doing wickedly.
22:10-12 - Now when Athaliah, Ahaziah's mother, saw that her son was dead, she set about to destroy all the royal family of the house of Judah. But Jehoshabeath, the king's daughter, took Joash son of Ahaziah, and stole him away from among the king's children who were about to be killed. She put him and his nurse in a bedroom. thus Jehoshabeath, daughter of King Jehoram and wife of the priest Jehoiada - because she was a sister of Ahaziah - hid him from Athaliah, so that she did not kill him; he remained with them six years, hidden in the house of god, while Athaliah reigned over the land.

23:12-15 - Athaliah heard the noise of the guard and of the people and went into the house of the Lord. When she looked there was the king standing by the pillar, as is custom, with the captain and the trumpeters and all the people of the land rejoicing and blowing trumpets. Athaliah tore her clothes and cried, "Treason! Treason!" The priest Jehoiada commanded the captains to bring her out between the ranks and kill anyone who followed her, for she shall not be killed in the house of the Lord. So they took her and went through the horses' entrance to the king's house and she was put to death.

24:3 - Jehoiada got two wives for Joash, and he became the father of sons and daughters.
24:7 - The children of Athaliah, that wicked woman, had broken into the house of God and had used all the dedicated things of the house of the Lord for the Baals.

My Comments

WHYYYYYYYYY are the women the reason these kings were wicked?!?!?! Women have no power and yet they get all the blame because despite them having no power they can control KINGS into doing wicked things.

Seriously, Bible, you can't have it both ways. Either women are subservient are powerless or they are controlling and powerful! So choose already! D: Or maybe these men strayed from God simply because they allowed women to gain control over them. God commands women to be subservient so it would seem that when a man does not control his women he becomes wicked in God's eyes.

All questions which I believe I have asked before. We still have no definitive answer here, but we do know that women are bad. So the best thing to do is stay away from women at all costs unless you are making babies. And women, we are just screwed.

Also note: the Athaliah passages are verbatim from 2 Kings 11:1-3 and 2 Kings 11:13-16. Just ridiculous. Still don't understand why the Chronicle books exists at all.

Wednesday: 2 Chronicles ?-?


  1. If I read this correctly:
    Athaliah is the mother of King Ahaziah, and Ahaziah's sister is Jehoshabeath through their common father King Jehoram (given the number of wives and concubines all the guys have in this story, they're unlikely to share a mother). Ahaziah's son is Joash, saved by his aunt from grandma's wrath. Grandma knocks off the other g-kids to rule in their place. After her death, "[t]he children of Athaliah, that wicked woman" are mentioned. Are we aware that Joash is himself a son of the son of that wicked woman? Apparently one can be confident that the wicked hasn't touched the ones you like, only the ones you hold accountable.

    Q: "WHYYYYYYYYY are the women the reason these kings were wicked?!?!?!"
    A: Because they were wicked mommies! Everyone knows a boy can be brought to evil by mommy.

  2. From what my Bible professor said (spent a year at Harding University...meh), Kings and Chronicles are separate documents (supposedly) and the fact that they ARE the same means they corroborate and THUS THIS IS A TRUE STORY GUYS. TRU FAX. Biblically.

  3. Indeed, the logical conclusion is that these two dudes managed to copy each other verbatim not because one actually physically copied the other but because God done it. Bible logic. Love it.

    I had a "bible" class in college. Was called Gender, Sex, and Violence in the Bible. I LOVED the class and my professor. I think that class was what got me on the road to my agnostic atheism because sadly that was the first time I realized I could actually question and critically look at the Bible.

    @Efogoto: Thus I am led to conclude that a) you amaze me with your ability to follow the weirdness and vagueness that is Bible genealogy and b) moms are actually super villain master minds. :D


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