Update

Sorry it's been pretty much silent here for a while now, and I'm sorry that it is probably going to be silent for a while longer. The last couple of weeks are been incredibly draining. On top of general Thanksgiving/holiday craziness on of my dogs has started seizing regularly for about two weeks now. The first week we thought it was just stress from having my boyfriend's mother staying at our place (my dogs get really anxious around new people) and the vet said the first two seizures were pretty normal and gave me some vallium to give my dog before bed each night. She was fine on that and then I stopped giving her the pills after his mom left and she was doing fine for a few nights. And then she had another seizure a couple of nights ago and then the next night she had two within a few hours. I talked to the vet the next day and while the first couple seemed normal, according to my vet it isn't normal for her to keep having them and in such a short span of time. So The vet gave me an anti-convulsant medication to give my dog twice and a day in hopes that that may help some. Apparently it takes a week or so for the medication to really start taking effect and my dog is till seizing, though the seizures last night (three this time, one grand mal and two partial) seemed a bit shorter and not as tough ad the previous ones. To add to this she only seems to be seizing at night when she's sleeping so I have not been getting a good amount of sleep at all the past two weeks and any sleep I do get isn't very restful since my entire body is ready to jump up and into action the second I hear her collar make too much noise or her slam into something while she's starting to seize.

The entire ordeal is incredibly stressful. The only symptoms she has are the seizures so there's really no clue as to what is really happening. She's eating fine, drinking fine, she's still rough housing with the other dog like normal. Only slight change is she seems to get a little more tired when we go on our walks, but that's probably mostly because she hasn't been sleeping well due to her seizures. We've ruled out a metabolic cause because all of her blood work was normal, and now it doesn't seem to be stress induced. So it's been tough. The seizures are just really hard to watch and, at least for the first four or so, she would get really aggressive afterwards and seem to forget who I was for about 5 or 10 minutes after. But I have to be the one to sit there with her and pet her while she's going through it and talk to her, and I have to be as calm as I can because if I act stressed and scared then she'll be more stressed and scared as well.

So I haven't had much energy these past two weeks. I feel like a huge ball of non stop stress and worry, mostly because there's really no idea right now what is wrong with her. It takes most of my energy to go to work and keep myself from thinking about it so I don't sit there crying in my cubicle. And then when I get home I'm really only good for mindless activities like tv or some simple video games. And I spend a lot of time just keeping an eye on her since I need to write down any changes I see or make sure I notice when she's starting to seize so I can get everything I need to get her through it (towel so I can hold her without her biting me if she is aggressive afterwards, a dog kennel to place her in she she doesn't run around right after while she's still disoriented, and her medication so I can give it to her right after she comes around so she doesn't potentially go straight into another seizure).

Long story short, a lot of my energy is going towards trying to keep my dog as safe as I can while she's having some unknown medical problems and trying to keep me sane enough so I can handle it. Unfortunately doesn't leave me much time at all to do the blog or anything else I want to get around to doing. I'm hoping in the next week or so her meds start working and I'm not completely on edge 24/7. It may not lower my stress levels significantly, but at least I might be able to get some sleep.

As it is now I'm afraid I'm going to be away from the blog and most everything else until things work themselves out. I hate going on another indefinitely hiatus again since it seems like I was on hiatus only yesterday, but I just cannot get myself pulled together long enough to read anything, never mind do any sort of analysis of it. 

I hope everyone remains well in my absence.

Haggai & Zechariah

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Haggai 1 - No mention of any women.

Haggai 2 - No mention of any women.

Zechariah 1 - No mention of any women.

Zechariah 2:7 - "Up! Escape to Zion, you that live with daughter Babylon!"
2:10-11 - "Sing and rejoice, O daughter Zion! For lo, I will come and dwell in your midst, says the Lord. Many nations shall join themselves to the Lord on that day, and shall be my people; and I will dwell in your midst. And you shall know that the Lord of hosts has sent me [an angel of the Lord] to you."

Zechariah 3 - No mention of any women.

Zechariah 4 - No mention of any women.

Zechariah 5:5-11 - Seventh Vision: The Woman in a Basket


"Then the angel who talked with me came forward and said to me, 'Look up and see what this is coming out.' I said, 'What is it?' He said, 'This is a basket coming out.' And he said, 'This is their iniquity in all the land.' Then a leaden cover was lifted, and there was a woman sitting in the basket! And he said, 'This is Wickedness.' So he thrust her back into the basket, and pressed the leaden weight down on its mouth. Then I looked up and saw two women coming forward. The winds was in their wings; they had wings like the wings of a stork, and they lifted up the basket between earth and sky. Then I said to the angel who talked with me, 'Where are they taking the basket?' He said to me, 'To the land of Shinar, to build a house for it; and when this is prepared, they will set the basket down there on its base.'"

Zechariah 6 - No mention of any women.

Zechariah 7:10 - "Do not oppress the widow, the orphan, the alien, or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another."

Zechariah 8:1-2 - "The word of the Lord of hosts came to me, saying: Thus says the Lord of hosts: I am jealous for Zion with the great jealousy, and I am jealous for her with great wrath."
8:4-5 - "Thus says the Lord of hosts: Old men and old women shall again sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each with staff in hand because of their great age. And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets."

Zechariah 9:9 - "Rejoice greatly, O daughter Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter Jerusalem! Lo, your king comes to you; triumphant and victorious is he, humble and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey."
9:11-13 - "As for you also, because of the blood of my covenant with you, I will set your prisoners free from the waterless pit. Return to your stronghold, I prisoners of hope; today I will declare that I will restore to you double. For I have bent Judah as my bow; I have made Ephraim its arrow. I will arouse your sons, O Zion, against your sons, O Greece, and wield you like a warrior's sword."
9:17 - "For what goodness and beauty are his! Grain shall make the young men flourish, and new wine for the women."

Zechariah 10 - No mention of any women.

Zechariah 11 - No mention of any women.

Zechariah 12:12-13 - "The land shall mourn, each family be itself; the family of the house of David by itself, and their wives by themselves; the family of the house of Nathan by itself, and their wives by themselves; the family of the house of Levi by itself, and their wives by themselves; the family of the Shimeites by itself, and their wives by themselves; and all the families that are left, each by itself, and their wives by themselves."

Zechariah 13:3 - "And if any prophets appear again, their fathers and mothers who bore them will say to them, 'You shall not live, for you speak lies in the name of the Lord'; and their fathers and their mothers who bore them shall pierce them through when they prophesy."

Zechariah 14:2 - "For I will gather all the nations against Jerusalem to battle, and the city shall be taken and the houses looted and the women raped; half the city shall go into exile, but the rest of the people shall not be cut off from the city."

My Comments


These books are taking a turn to talking about how God will rebuild and fix his people after his punishment instead of just waxing poetic about how horrible their punishments will be. I can't help but think back to Job, where God spent so long destroying Job's life (and Job was actually extremely faithful to God, unlike God's people) and then in the end God replacing everything with new stuff (not giving him back his old stuff like his dead kids are estranged wife) as if this magically fixes Job. Simply replacing something doesn't make it all better. It doesn't fix the emotional and mental harm that is caused by such destruction because there would definitely be some mental and emotional damage caused here. All of those women in these cities don't suddenly become unraped and all the men and children don't suddenly become undead and their families unsad. Shiny, new stuff and a promise that all that bad stuff will never happen again really doesn't solve half the problems such prolonged suffering causes.

I'll use an example from my own life when our house got robbed about a year or so ago, if that has ever happened to anyone reading this. It was a very hard experience to go through and it definitely has nothing to do with the physical items that are taken. In the beginning, that was part of it, but, at least for me, that was only a flashing moment in the whole experience. The stuff was replace, but our whole family spent that first night awake and on edge, and even after we had an alarm installed the next day it was difficult to feel completely safe in the house. I worried for months about people coming in and this time harming our dogs or, heaven forbid, taking something like my gun and using it to hurt someone else. If the robbers had come back the next day with all our stuff and given it back and, on top of that, added a few thousand dollars that wouldn't fix anything. And could you imagine if they had come back with our stuff and then some and then had the AUDACITY to demand that we praise them for bringing it all back lest they do it again?

This same issue when it comes to emotional and mental damage also shows up in many, many other crimes and situations, I only use the robbery example because it's been fresh on my mind for a while (we recently moved and no longer have an alarm system to provide any sense of security and I often worry about someone breaking in when we're not home, my biggest concern being the safety of my dogs). Having all the physical stuff in your life back and in order may fix some of it, but rarely does it fix everything. There is still so much healing needed which takes time, and that is made especially difficult when other parties are convinced that you should be all a-ok now, like how God expects his people to just continue on grinning from ear to ear and worshiping him simply because he raised the cities back up and defeated their attackers.

I also want to address Zechariah 5 concerning the woman in the basket. A lot of Zechariah deals with these visions he is getting and having an angel help him interpret these visions. Of these visions he sees: horsemen, the horns and the blacksmiths, the man and the measuring line, Joshua and Satan, the lampstand and the olive trees, the flying scroll, the woman in the basket, and the four chariots.

Notice, many of these visions involve men. Only one involves a woman. The horsemen patrol the earth for God and bring news to the angel that the earth is at peace. The blacksmiths (I'm kind of mostly guessing here because for whatever reason that section is ridiculously hard to figure out what is going on) are there to stop the horns which scattered Judah. The man with the measuring line is simply there to measure Jerusalem. Joshua is raised high and shall rule God's(?) house and keep charge of his courts. The chariots represent the four winds and they also patrol the earth.

Meanwhile, the woman in the basket represents the iniquity in all the land. She is Wickedness.

One of these things is not like the other.

Also like to note that the women who take Wickedness away are not called angels. They are simply women with stork like wings. Off the top of my head I do not recall a single female angel in the Bible thus far. Please correct me if I am mistake on this point, but if an angel had been female I would have definitely written about it, and I do not recall ever talking about female angels. Considering how angels are never female it's amazing that so many of our modern day depictions of angels have them in female form. What a simple way to erase some of the misogyny of the Bible by making it seem like women are actually a large part of the Bible and of God's angelic court.

So men are male symbols are protectors and God's workers. They go out and patrol the land and report back to God and take measurements and protect Judah from the forces keeping it apart.

But women are the embodiment of Wickedness. Nothing redeeming, nothing good. Pure evil that is meant to be locked away so it cannot meddle in the world of men and turn men astray and away from God's path.

Up next: Malachi

Habakkuk & Zephaniah

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Habakkuk 1 - No mention of any women.

Habakkuk 2 - No mention of any women.

Habakkuk 3 - No mention of any women.

Zephaniah 1 - No mention of any women.

Zephaniah 2 - No mention of any women.

3:14-20 - "Sing aloud, O daughter Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter Jerusalem! The Lord has taken away the judgments against you, he has turned away your enemies. The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; you shall fear disaster no more. On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands grow weak. The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a warrior who gives victory; he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will renew you in his love; he will exult over you with loud singing as on a day of festival. I will remove disaster from you, so that you will not bear reproach for it. I will dear with your oppressors at that time. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth. At that time I will bring you home, at the time when I gather you; for I will make you renowned and praised among all the peoples of the earth, when I restore your fortunes before your eyes, says the Lord."

My Comments


Yes, be PLEASED, Jerusalem, that God is around! BOW to the God that has gotten rid of all these ills that have plagued you and killed so many of your people!

Nevermind the fact that it was God himself who cause these ills to fall upon you. No, no, let's forget about all that. Water under the bridge. Don't pay attention to the last ten books that practically reveled in your misfortune and torment. No, now it's all over and God's here to give you a kiss and some flowers and ask you to just come back home, baby. He won't ever do it again.

You know... as long as you do everything he says and everything he wants. Otherwise, God may have to punish you again because hey, you won't learn without some discipline, right?

Ugh.... how much more of this abusive husband bullshit do I have to read through? It's really, really getting old...

Next: Haggai & Zechariah

Nahum

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Nahum 1 - No mention of any women.

2:7 - "It is decreed that the city be exiled, its slave women led away, moaning like doves and beating their breasts."
2:12 - "The lion has torn enough from his whelps and strangled prey for his lionesses; he has filled his caves with prey and his dens with torn flesh."

3:4-10 - "Because of the countless debaucheries of the prostitute, gracefully alluring, mistress of sorcery, who enslaves nations through her debaucheries, and people through her sorcery, I am against you, says the Lord of hosts, and will lift up your skirts over your face; and I will let nations look on your nakedness and kingdoms on your shame. I will throw filth at you and treat you with contempt, and will make you a spectacle. Then all who see you will shrink from you and say, 'Nineveh is devastated; who will bemoan her?' Where shall I seek comforters for you?

"Are you better than Thebes that sat by the Nile, with water around her, her rampart at sea, water her wall? Ethiopia was her strength, Egypt too, and that without limit; Put and the Libyans were her helpers.

"Yet she became an exile, she went into captivity; even her infants were dashed in pieces at the head of every street; lots were cast for her nobles, all her dignitaries were bound in fetters."
3:13 - "Look at your troops; they are women in your midst. The gates of you land are wide open to your foes; fire has devoured the bars of your gates."

My Comments

Well, here we are again. It may be a slow start getting back into the groove, but I need to try to get back into it and frankly I want so desperately to be in a state of mind where blogging is possible again. The last few weeks have been a bit of a struggle on the stress front, but I'm settling into my new job okay. There's a lot to learn, but I tend to pick up new things fairly quickly so I'm not too worried about that. :)

Anyway, back to the Bible!

Sorry, Bible, lions are no the be all, end all of the lion pride. Lionesses tend to be the primary hunters in a pride and primary caretakers of themselves and their cubs. Lions are important for safety, sure, but definitely not the most vital component of a pride, no matter what Disney may have taught us in The Lion King. So the sentiments in the verse listed above isn't horribly accurate, other than the bit about the lion taking from his children (the lion ALWAYS eats first in a pride). And while the lion may help hunt on occasion, he is not the master hunter that he is usually held up to be. The verses before it quest what shall become of the lion's den when the lion falters. Simple answer: nothing. Lions are constantly being rotated out of prides, either because they leave or because they are challenged by another male and lose. The only consistency in a pride are the lionesses. So really, losing a male lion is not a huge deal.

It would seem the dens filled with torn flesh are supposed to be analogous to the people of God hoarding treasures and other things, but I really do not think lions (or other carnivorous animals) tend to hoard food very often. They tend to eat all that they have so that none of it goes to waste.

So, really, lions are an odd choice. Other than the fact that prides have one to two males to 4-20 females and the females tend to do all the work for the males (preparing food and child rearing), there really aren't many similarities between the human family culture of the Bible and lion prides.

And once again we have nudity being used as a punishment for women. More than happy to let their bodies be laid bare for those around them to gaze upon and use as they wish against the will of the woman. Nice.

I've started to wonder where this idea that the flesh and being nude are shameful. Where exactly did this come from? According to the Bible this shame came from the Tree of Knowledge, since Eve and Adam presumably walked freely in the garden and only hid their nakedness after they ate the fruit, but when you really start to think about it the whole idea of it starts to unravel.

Think about this for a bit and see if you can make any sense of it. God make Adam and Eve naked from the start. He never pushed them to wear clothes or commanded it from them or had any issues whatsoever with it, which would imply that God was completely okay with human nudity. The Tree of Knowledge supposed held the knowledge of good and evil, which was knowledge God already possessed but Adam and Eve were (for whatever reason) forbidden from learning. Once they ate the fruit, Adam and Eve KNEW that their bared flesh was sinful and covered it up.

So here's my question: If the knowledge obtained from the fruit includes the information that nakedness is sinful, then why was God, who supposedly already had this knowledge, okay with Adam and Eve's nakedness from the beginning?

It seems that only AFTER Adam and Eve eat the fruit does God decide that, yeah, nakedness is a horrible thing! Suddenly, instead of a philosophy that includes nakedness as just a part of nature and life, God decides that nudity is something to be ashamed of; punishable if one looks upon another naked (unless under the binds of a marriage contract) and used as a punishment for those who displease God enough (so far, only women).

So why is this? It seems even odder because nakedness is seen as pretty much one of the worst things ever. Hell, an entire blood line from Ham (son of Noah) and on were cursed by God just because Ham had the audacity to cover his drunk, naked father with a blanket and accidentally looked upon him while doing so. Nakedness is so shameful that it is used as a punishment for women who dare to stray from their owners/husbands/fathers/whomever. Nakedness has proved to be something incredibly horrible and yet God still refrains from using it as a punishment against men/males. Women, sure, no problem, hang their shame out for everyone to see. But God loves men so much that he would never dream of making men deal with such a horrible punishment.

Any thoughts on the concept of nakedness in the Bible? Any ideas on God's sudden change of heart when it comes to nudity? I'd love to hear them. I've pretty much just come to the conclusion that it's not really gonna make any sense, like most things in the Bible. God, even though unchanging and perfect, changes his mind at the drop of a hat and is more than happy to find any new punishments that he can to inflict upon his creations.

Next post: Habakkuk

Micah

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

1:6-10 - "Therefore I will make Samaria a heap in the open country, a place for planting vineyards. I will pour down her stones into the valley, and uncover her foundations. All her images shall be beaten to pieces, all her wages shall be burned with fire, and all her idols I will lay waste; for as the wages of a prostitute she gathered them, and as the wages of a prostitute they shall again be used. For this I will lament and wail; I will go barefoot and naked; I will make lamentation like the jackals, and mourning like the ostriches. For her wound is incurable. It has come to Judah; it has reached to the gate of my people, to Jerusalem. Tell it not in Gath, weep not at all; in Beth-leaphrah roll yourselves in the dust."


2:9 - "The women of my people you drive out from their pleasant houses; from their young children you take away my glory forever."


Micah 3 - No mention of any women.


4:8-13 - "And you, O tower of the flock, hill of daughter Zion, to you it shall come, the former dominion shall come, the sovereignty of daughter Jerusalem. Now why do you cry aloud? Is there no king in you? Has your counselor perished, that pangs have seized you like a woman in labor? Writhe and groan, O daughter Zion, like a woman in labor; for now you shall go forth from the city and camp in the open country; you shall go to Babylon. There you shall be rescued, there the LORD will redeem you from the hands of your enemies. Now many nations are assembled against you, saying, 'Let her be profaned, and let our eyes gaze upon Zion.' But they do not know the thoughts of the LORD; they do not understand his plan, that he has gathered them as sheaves to the threshing floor. Arise and thresh, O daughter Zion, for I will make your horn iron and your hoofs bronze; you shall beat in pieces many peoples, and shall devote their gain to the LORD, their wealth to the Lord of the whole earth."


5:3 - "Therefore he shall give them up until the time when she who is in labor has brought forth; then the rest of his kindred shall return to the people of Israel."


Micah 6 - No mention of any women.


7:5-6 - "Put no trust in a friend, have no confidence in a loved one; guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your embrace; for the son treats the father with contempt, the daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; your enemies are members of your own household."
7:10 - "Then my enemy will see, and shame will cover her who said to me, 'Where is the LORD your God?' My eyes will see her downfall; now she will be trodden down like the mire of the streets."

My Comments


Okay, I can't seem to get over my anxiety about my Jonah post so I haven't worked on it anymore. I'm still gonna try to get time to sit and deal with my bullshit and finish it, but until then I'm going to continue to press on and cover more ground.

Honestly, I had no idea that so much of the Bible was dedicated to nothing but how much God punishes those who don't grovel every chance they get as his holy, all knowing feet. I'd gotten this idea from all my years of church and whatnot that the Bible was mostly a book about how cool and awesome God was, with a few stories and moral teachings mixed in for good measure. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it was filled with such hate and violence. Not only is it filled with hate and violence but it seems to REVEL in it. This all wouldn't be so bad if it kind of had a more somber tone. Instead it feels like it's almost enjoying it. Like a movie that claims to be making a statement about horrific topics but then takes every chance it gets to put those topics front and center on the screen. Kind of like Gamer (with Gerard Butler), if anyone ever bothered to watch those movie. It was a movie that seemed to have some notions of making a statement about violence and sex in video games and how gamers envelope themselves inside these twisted, violent fantasies. Of course, apparently to make this point they had to shove as much sex, violence, violent sex and unsubtle misogyny in your face so all it did was undermine their "point." Side note: If you ever do find yourself in the same room as that movie and you have any love for Michael C. Hall (like I do) there's a scene near the end with him dancing and singing with mind controlled inmates have a fight scene with Butler that is just the best scene ever. I hesitate to say that scene alone was worth the 5 dollars I paid to see that horrible movie in theaters, but it was really the only scene that was watchable.

But I digress! I have had some people imply that I went into this project hating the Bible. That all this I'm doing is just me going into it with anger in my head and with nothing but a motive to do as much bashing as I can. I don't think there's anything I could really say to those people to convince them otherwise, but I honestly went into this thinking, "Well, I'm sure it won't be that bad. I mean, it is the base for the religion I grew up in, and while some bits of it are troubling most services and whatnot had feel good messages. And if the majority of my church experience was fluffy God is awesome stuff then I'm sure there's at least SOMETHING to back that up in the Bible." I definitely didn't think in my wildest dreams that this is as bad as it is. I'm sure many people here haven't really read the Bible, and I'm sure a lot of you are taking this a bit like I am. Where you knew there were problems with it, but you never imagined they were THIS bad. My surprise and angry in any of my posts is my genuine surprise and anger, and my anger is only so strong because I do feel like I have been lied to my whole life about this. It's like finding out that not only is Santa Claus not quite the fat and jolly man you grew up loving but that he also murders children in their sleep when they've been naughty. Which might not be that far from the truth, really.

So I'm still honestly surprised that we're still harping on God's punishment of his people. I mean, Micah SAYS that he's walking through the ruined streets, lamenting the fate of God's people who strayed, but it's hard to think he's all THAT upset when he's got florid prose after florid prose describing these scenes in detail. Am I the only one who sees it this way? I'd hate to think I'm overreaching here, but to me, reading all these books one after the other, it's starting to really feel like these prophets are really protesting too much about how horrible they really think these scenes are. If it had just been the one or two books, I would probably say that they just wanted to definitely make sure everyone knew what sort of punishment awaited those who strayed from God. But after 6 or 7? Now it's just enjoying the whole thing.

Anyway, we have more female punishment involving being "uncovered" for all around her to see. Of course, she is merely a prostitute so this is a just punishment because she takes her clothes off and lays bare for men for money so letting other use her body without paying her is okay. Or something. It's like when people claim you can't rape a prostitute, but then men will still use rape to harm and "punish" prostitutes.

Also love how Zion has "no king in her," if you catch it the Bible's single entendre. Again, Zion is laid bare for all to see. The metaphors involving undressing and being laid naked for others to gaze upon aren't seen when the cities are neuter or male. Why is nakedness only used as a punishment for women? Is it because gazing upon men is a sin so great that God will punish an entire line of decedents simple because on man happened to see his father naked while he was trying to cover him up and make him look decent? So since gazing upon a naked man is such a great offense to God is that why God seems to never use it as a punishment?

I would say something about how pain inf child birth is also used often as a descriptor for pain when it comes to these punishments, but seeing as childbirth is pretty much one of the major punishments given to all women because of Eve eating the apple, it is not at all strange that it is often used in this manner throughout the Bible. Not that I don't find it problematic that childbirth is seen as a punishment throughout the Bible even when (male) children are seen as the only real accomplishments a woman can achieve. It is problematic, but at least the Bible seems to be consistent in the fact that labor = horrible pain comparable to the pain suffered under God's punishment.

There is also a part where God gives Zion the tools to defeat her enemies, but these tools are only provided after Zion commits herself completely and unquestioningly to God's reign and law. Only in her complete compliance will God allow her some peace. Funny, that.

Friday: Nahum and I'll continue with posting as usual and continue trying to finish up my long winded piece on Jonah.

Jonah

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Jonah 1 - No mention of any women.

Jonah 2 - No mention of any women.

Jonah 3 - No mention of any women.

Jonah 4 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

So I had a really long post started for this book and then kind of got cold feet about it. I really want to finish it, so it's been sitting in the drafts since Thursday night waiting for me. I don't know if I'll have a lot of time to sit and work on it this week since my life is pretty much gonna be hella crazy for a while. I managed to land myself a new job that actually has benefits and paid vacations (along with better pay and a *hopefully* better work environment) so this week is going to be filled with general anxiety about forms and preparation to get security clearance into my new office building and then anxiety about handing in my two weeks notice to my current boss. I know I shouldn't be anxious about the second part but I have a great fear of letting people down so I can't NOT be stressed about telling my boss so suddenly that I'm leaving. And then, after that, it'll be good old new job anxiety that I'll have to push through my first couple of weeks at my new job.

Needless to say, the next month or so is gonna be a bit weird on the blog updating. I'm sure I'm gonna have plenty of days where the sheer stress of it all will just leave me so drained that I won't even have any energy to check up on my Facebook for a few minutes.

But I am excited about my new job even if I don't feel like I am. I don't do well with change and I overcompensate with worry and anxiety so I don't mess up while everything is busy testing my ability to adapt. After a couple of months I'm sure I'll be nestled comfortably in my new position and enjoying the fuck out of my paid vacation days.

TL;DR: I'm Anxiety Cat in human form and due to current random anxiety I have no new (completed) post and due to a new job coming up I'll have even more anxiety and thus shit will be crazy for a while for me.

Coming Soon *Hopefully*: An actual post about Jonah, even if there aren't any women in it.

Obadiah

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)


Obadiah - No mention of any women.

My Comments

Nothing, nothing, nothing, and more nothing.

I was feeling a bit nostalgic today, thinking back on all the fun I had in my college classes (yeah, I'm a nerd, and my personal college experience was not all that great so the classes are all I really look back on fondly) engaging my brain and learning new things. I often think about how much I miss engaging my brain while at work which is, to say the least, definitely not stimulating in any sense of the word. This made me think back to a class I took called Gender, Sex and Violence in the Bible. We may want to blame this class on my future atheism since this class was literally the first time the idea of QUESTIONING stuff in the Bible (not even questioning in a bad way, just the ability to ask questions about it at all) was shown to me as an option. Hell, asking questions was the point of the class.

I believe this was during my sophomore year of college (may have been early my junior year...), so it was still fairly early in my development into the huge dirty hippie I am now. I was still going to church more or less every Sunday at this point in time, more for a sense of regularity and normalcy than anything since I was still a bit homesick from time to time. So this class was a nice change of pace and, for once, I was actually reading and really looking at what I was supposed to be learning from all those church sermons I went to. Long story short, that was a rather enlightening semester in many ways and I'm honestly grateful that such a class was offered at my college.

The point of this trip down memory lane, though, is to give a bit of back story to the video I am about to link to.

See, at the end of the semester we had to do a big project for my Gender, Sex and Violence in the Bible class. I decided to do mine over our discussions on Genesis. We had classes where we pondered if Adam was sexless/hermaphroditic when he was first created (before Eve). Or whether God bringing the animals to Adam before Eve was implied bestiality. It was good times. And since I had spent a lot of that semester in my free time playing with Macromedia Flash (a program I desperately miss and didn't get as much time to play with it as I would have liked) I decided to make an animation of Genesis with ideas from our discussions mixed in. I gotta say, I was damned impressed with the video at the time and I got a really good grade on it. Rewatching it now it's still hilarious but oh how I wish I still had a copy of Flash so I could fix stuff like timing and slow animations. I also want to reiterate my youth and naivety at the time. I may not have made the same jokes today that I did when I made this. Please let your judgments be gentle on my youth. :x

So since our reading for today has given me nothing, I present to you my flash animation of Genesis - when Adam met Eve.

Friday: Jonah

Amos

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Amos 1 - No mention of any women.

2:7 "...they who trample the head of the poor into the dust of the earth, and push the afflicted out of the way; father and son go in to the same girl, so that my holy name is profaned..."

Amos 3 - No mention of any women.

4:1 - "Hear this word, you cows of Bashan who are on Mount Samaria, who oppress the poor, who crush the needy, who say to their husbands, 'Bring something to drink!'"

5:1-2 - "Hear this word that I take up over you in lamentation, O house of Israel: Fallen, no more to rise, is maiden Israel; forsaken on her land, with no one to raise her up."

Amos 6 - No mention of any women.

7:17 - "Therefore thus says the LORD: 'Your wife shall become a prostitute in the city, and your sons and your daughters shall fall by the sword, and your land shall be parceled out by line; you yourself shall die in an unclean land, and Israel shall surely go into exile away from its land.'"

8:13 - "In that day the beautiful young women and the young men shall faint for thirst."

Amos 9 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

Will there ever be a book in the Bible that does not deal with the severe punishment of God's people for reasons that are long forgotten because they are rarely (if ever) mentioned? Seriously, how many books do we need that go on and on and on and on about what exactly shall befall God's people for their terrible sins of... adultery? Is it still just adultery? Amos had some bits about how God's people were supposedly greedy and took bribes and left the poor to rot. So maybe we've added avarice to the list of Godly no-nos? It's really vague about it either way and I can't be sure if it's some sort of general badness that is used to just kind of show why God's people are, in fact, evil or a serious infraction that adds to pile of sin that isn't just all around whorish-ness.

The addition of greed to the sins and the lack of mention of the whoring around may be a reason why there is very little gendering of the towns/tribes in this book.

What I can be certain about is that I am really, really, really getting tired of book after book of just general nastiness and hatred towards God's people. To end with something interesting, here's Amos 4:5-13 -

"O people of Israel! says the Lord GOD. I gave you cleanness of teeth in all your cities, and lack of bread in all your places, yet you did not return to me, says the LORD. And I also withheld the rain from you when there were still three months to the harvest; I would send rain on one city, and send no rain on another city; one field would be rained upon, and the field on which it did not rain withered; so two or three towns wandered to one town to drink water, and were not satisfied; yet you did not return to me, says the LORD. I struck you with blight and mildew; I laid waste your gardens and your vineyards; the locust devoured your fig trees and your olive trees; yet you did not return to me, says the LORD. I sent among you a pestilence after the manner of Egypt; I killed your young men with the sword; I carried away your horses; and I made the stench of your camp go up into your nostrils; yet you did not return to me, says the LORD. I overthrew some of you, as when God overthrew Sodom and Gomorrah, and you were like a brand snatched from the fire; yet you did not return to me, says the LORD. Therefore thus I will do to you, O Israel; because I will do this to you, prepare to meet your God, O Israel! For lo, the one who forms the mountains, creates the wind, reveals his thoughts to mortals, makes the morning darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth-- the LORD, the God of hosts, is his name!"

God just can't seem to understand why his people would leave him or not want to return to him. Imagine that. -_-

Wednesday: Obadiah (spoilers: I skimmed ahead a bit and thankfully it's incredibly short but I'll give you one guess as to what the theme of the book is...)

Joel

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

1:6 - "For the nation has invaded my land, powerful and innumerable; it's teeth are lions' teeth, and it has the fangs of a lioness."
1:8 - "Lament like a virgin dressed in sackcloth for the husband of her youth."

2:16 - "Sanctify the congregation; assemble the aged; gather the children, even infants at the breast. Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her canopy."
2:28-29 - "Then afterward I will pour out my spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, and your young men shall see visions. Even in the male and female slaves, in those days, I will pour out my spirit."

3:3 - "[They have divided the land] and cast lots for my people, and traded boys for prostitutes, and sold girls for wine, and drunk it down."
3:8 - "I will sell your sons and your daughters into the hand of the people of Judah, and they will sell them to the Sabeans, to a nation far away; for the Lord has spoken."

My Comments

I need a small break from the blog so there will not be any posts next week. Just need a bit of time to let my brain rest a bit.

Next Monday: Amos

Hosea 12-14

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

12:3 - "In the womb he tried to supplant his brother, and in his manhood he strove with God."
12:12 - "Jacob fled to the land of Aram, there Israel served for a wife, and for a wife he guarded sheep."

13:8 - "I will fall upon them like a bear robbed of her cubs, and will tear open the covering of their heart; there I will devour them like a lion, as a wild animal would mangle them."
13:16 - "Samaria shall bear her guilt, because she has rebelled against her God; they shall fall by the sword, their little ones shall be dashed in pieces, and their pregnant women ripped open."

Hosea 14 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

So I guess in this post I shall introduce a new category for the blog topics: Body Parts. I was gonna just go with "Wombs," but I don't know if wombs will be the only body parts often completely disembodied from the women they should be attached to. So I'm just gonna go with the general "Body Parts" for now.

Of course this isn't the first time the woman has been completely removed from the birthing process or disregarded as playing a large part in the process. Just a bunch of men busy using a womb, here. What woman?

Also more complete lack of caring on Gods part of small infants and fetuses. Everyone must be punished, doesn't matter how young and innocent. I mean, killing and torturing babies (actual alive babies, I'm not referring to fetuses here) is generally considered as evil as maiming puppies and kittens. It's pretty much a sure sign of villainy if someone is found spattering infants against stones ESPECIALLY if they seem to be enjoying themselves immensely while they do it.

Well, Hosea is over. Maybe this next book we can finally leave the Israel is an evil, treacherous whore motif?

Wednesday: Joel

Hosea 8-11

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Hosea 8 - No mention of any women.

9:1 - " Do not rejoice, O Israel! Do not exult as other nations do; for you have played the whore, departing from your God. You have loved a prostitute's pay on all threshing floors."

10:11 - "Ephraim was a trained heifer that loved to thresh, and I spared her fair neck; but I will make Ephraim break the ground; Judah must plow; Jacob must harrow for himself."

Hosea 11 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

This verse just seems so... scattered. I wasn't sure if I should put it in the facts section. First it seems Ephraim is a woman being denied the only glory a woman can gain - a child. But then in the next verse Ephraim is leading "his" children to slaughter. Then Ephraim shall no longer bear fruit, which I guess could go either way, but then God will kill the cherished offspring of their womb and it's no very clear if that's referring to the people of Ephraim individually or Ephraim as an entity made up of people. Ugh, I dunno. But here's the verses so you can see them for yourself.

9:11-16 - "Ephraim's glory shall fly away like a bird-- no birth, no pregnancy, no conception! Even if they bring up children, I will bereave them until no one is left. Woe to them indeed when I depart from them! Once I saw Ephraim as a young palm planted in a lovely meadow, but now Ephraim must lead out his children for slaughter. Give them, O LORD-- what will you give? Give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts. Every evil of theirs began at Gilgal; there I came to hate them. Because of the wickedness of their deeds I will drive them out of my house. I will love them no more; all their officials are rebels. Ephraim is stricken, their root is dried up, they shall bear no fruit. Even though they give birth, I will kill the cherished offspring of their womb."

These chapters have suddenly flipped the sex of these cities and tribes. Suddenly Israel is "he" and "him" and Ephraim is "his" and it's just weird why. The language has definitely changed, and I doubt this is any sort of "bias" that some people who don't see the inherent woman-hating in the Bible might assume I have. Seriously, read Hosea 10 and 11 for yourself. Then compare those chapters to Hosea 2 or Ezekiel 23 or Ezekiel 16. You would have to be seriously kidding yourself if you believe these chapters are even remotely similarly to each other in the way they treat Israel and other cities/tribes. Hosea 10 comes nowhere close. None of the verses or sections referring to these places are male are anywhere near close to the treatment the female versions at dealt.

And I can say with pretty fair certainty that verses like Hosea 11:8-9 ("How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, O Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender. I will not execute my fierce anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and no mortal, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath. "), filled with such seeming remorse are not often found in the chapters concerning female Israel, et. al. When God states how his punishment of female Israel hurts him more than it does her and he will raise her back up and won't hurt her again as long as she remains faithful it's stated in almost a begrudging tone. It doesn't at all seem completely sincere or like God really thinks Israel didn't completely deserve what she got.

But in that one verse (surrounded by the light weight "punishment" verses) makes it really seem like God is honestly upset that he's had to do this to his people and he truly wishes to never have to do it again. Male Israel is surely a victim of God's wrath, while female Israel is simply a whore that God had to beat back into submission.

But, seriously, do not take my word for it. Hosea 10 and 11 aren't very long, go have a read and see if I am just blowing everything out of proportion. If anyone honestly thinks I am, I would love to hear about it.

I will give a SMALL benefit of the doubt and say that it looks like Hosea will continue to refer to Israel, et. al. as male and thus maybe some horrendous chapters are just around the corner. It's a VERY SMALL benefit of the doubt, but I will state no clear absolutes until the book is over.

I'm taking a MUCH needed mental health day from the world on Friday so no new posts until Monday. Hope everyone stays safe and the world treats you well enough until then. :)

Hosea 5-7

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

5:3-4 - "I know Ephraim, and Israel is not hidden from me; for now, O Ephraim, you have played the whore; Israel is defiled. Their deeds do not permit them to return to their God. For the spirit of whoredom is within them, and they do not know the LORD."
5:7 - "They have dealt faithlessly with the LORD; for they have borne illegitimate children. Now the new moon shall devour them along with their fields."

6:10 - "In the house of Israel I have seen a horrible thing; Ephraim's whoredom is there, Israel is defiled."

Hosea 7 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

Now, I present the above verses with a bit of uncertainty. They do not specifically state any female pronouns in these verses. But I put them with the facts because of the words "whore" and "whoredom" which have never once been used to describe a man and so I feel it would be odd for the Bible to start doing that now. Plus, it has been shown that a lands perceived sex can change without any warning or fanfare. Therefore, despite a lack of female pronouns I do believe these verses are still referencing these places/tribes as female.

Now, for some fun, let's contrast the male punishment of these tribes with the female punishment Israel as been forced to suffer for the past few books.

5:11 - "Ephraim is oppressed, crushed in judgment, because he was determined to go after vanity."
7:8-9 - "Ephraim mixes himself with the peoples; Ephraim is a cake not turned. Foreigners devour his strength, but he does not know it; gray hairs are sprinkled upon him, but he does not know it."
7:11 - "Ephraim has become like a dove, silly and without sense; they call upon Egypt, they go to Assyria."

Holy shit, what atrocities!? Grey hairs, strength taken away, calling Ephraim SILLY?! Oh, the injustice! My God, why am I focusing on the women when it's so clear just how horrible the Bible treats men?! D:

Yeah... no. Ephraim may be crushed, oppressed, grey haired, weak and pronounced "silly," but I think that really doesn't even come close to Israel's oppression, destruction, repeated rapes, repeated unclothing and public shaming, constant condemnation of her "whoredom" and her "lusts" and "whoring," her constant reminder of her less than status. I mean, if they are equal then those must be some REALLY horrible grey hairs.

I'm gonna be honest, the line about Ephraim becoming like a dove and being "silly and without sense" left me with some very mixed emotions. I was at once hit with how RIDICULOUS that sounds after so many books of the suffering and unfair treatment of Israel and her other female tribes mixed with an extreme feeling of anger that that is how Ephraim is described after dealing with single chapters that used the word "whore" and "whoredom" 23 TIMES and that was not even counting synonyms of "whore" and "whoring" and "whoredom" which brings the number to truly ridiculous amounts.

If anyone wanted to see just how differently women or female designated cities/tribes
are treated from men or male designated cities/tribes then there ya go. If you want to read the entire chapters just to see if I'm just pulling out the weaker male quotes then be my guest. These chapters aren't very long. But the punishments do not get any worse than this and anything male Ephraim is meant to suffer Israel suffered and then some. But if you doubt this then, really, go look up the chapters are tell me I'm bullshitting.

And just one more verse that stood out to me:

6:6-7 - "For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. But as Adam they transgressed the covenant; there they dealt faithlessly with me."

Adam transgressed the covenant and was faithless to God because Adam took the word of woman over the word of God. Woman is, indeed, the greatest enemy when it comes to man's relationship with God. Hell, this trust of a woman over God is the main reason God has to spend all this time making his people suffer and sending people to hell. Honestly, as far as I am concerned, the Original Sin wasn't eating the apple but trusting a woman. This was man's first act of "adultery" and, really, God hasn't forgiven woman since. Now God spends book after book, chapter after chapter warning men of just how evil woman is. Just how little woman is to be trusted. Heaven forbid men give woman even an ounce of freedom or control lest men "cheat" on God again and force God to punish them to an even greater extent.

"For the spirit of whoredom is within them, and they do not know the LORD."

Again I think to myself, how can anyone say the Bible isn't woman hating?

Wednesday: More Hosea

Hosea 3-4

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Hosea 3 - "The LORD said to me again, 'Go, love a woman who has a lover and is an adulteress, just as the LORD loves the people of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes.' So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer of barley and a measure of wine. And I said to her, 'You must remain as mine for many days; you shall not play the whore, you shall not have intercourse with a man, nor I with you.' For the Israelites shall remain many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or pillar, without ephod or teraphim. Afterward the Israelites shall return and seek the LORD their God, and David their king; they shall come in awe to the LORD and to his goodness in the latter days."

4:5 "You shall stumble by day; the prophet also shall stumble with you by night, and I will destroy your mother."
4:10-15 - "They shall eat, but not be satisfied; they shall play the whore, but not multiply; because they have forsaken the LORD to devote themselves to whoredom. Wine and new wine take away the understanding. My people consult a piece of wood, and their divining rod gives them oracles. For a spirit of whoredom has led them astray, and they have played the whore, forsaking their God. They sacrifice on the tops of the mountains, and make offerings upon the hills, under oak, poplar, and terebinth, because their shade is good. Therefore your daughters play the whore, and your daughters-in-law commit adultery. I will not punish your daughters when they play the whore, nor your daughters-in-law when they commit adultery; for the men themselves go aside with whores, and sacrifice with temple prostitutes; thus a people without understanding comes to ruin. Though you play the whore, O Israel, do not let Judah become guilty. Do not enter into Gilgal, or go up to Beth-aven, and do not swear, 'As the LORD lives.'"

My Comments

Hey, let's all be like God and get ourselves our own whoring/adulteress wives and abuse them as well! Come on! It'll be fun! She'll be super cheap too since no one's gonna want her after she's been all used! XD

...

Yeah...

I will also continue to highlight the many times the word "whore" is used. Seems to be the Bible's new favorite word now. I like to imagine every time I read the word "whore" that there's a large group of people who jump up and dance with streamers and confetti shouting, "Yay! You said the daily word! Whoo!" Because, you know, the image is funny, and then after about the 10th repeat of it I start to imagine the people getting more and more tired until they're finally like, "Really? Again? Can't you use a damned thesaurus? Or perhaps desist in your misogynist slurs?" And then they all fuck off because, really, it's used so much it just gets too tiring to bother caring.

Those people are my friends during these tough and trying chapters.

Friday: More Hosea

Hosea 1-2

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

1:2-3 - "When the LORD first spoke through Hosea, the LORD said to Hosea, 'Go, take for yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the LORD.' So he went and took Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son."
1:6-9 - "She conceived again and bore a daughter. Then the LORD said to him, 'Name her Lo-ruhamah, for I will no longer have pity on the house of Israel or forgive them. But I will have pity on the house of Judah, and I will save them by the LORD their God; I will not save them by bow, or by sword, or by war, or by horses, or by horsemen.' When she had weaned Lo-ruhamah, she conceived and bore a son. Then the LORD said, 'Name him Lo-ammi, for you are not my people and I am not your God.'"

Hosea 2 - "Say to your brother, Ammi [meaning My People], and to your sister, Ruhamah [meaning Pitied]."

Israel's Infidelity, Punishment, and Redemption

"Plead with your mother, plead-- for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband-- that she put away her whoring from her face, and her adultery from between her breasts, or I will strip her naked and expose her as in the day she was born, and make her like a wilderness, and turn her into a parched land, and kill her with thirst. Upon her children also I will have no pity, because they are children of whoredom. For their mother has played the whore; she who conceived them has acted shamefully. For she said, 'I will go after my lovers; they give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, my oil and my drink.' Therefore I will hedge up her way with thorns; and I will build a wall against her, so that she cannot find her paths. She shall pursue her lovers, but not overtake them; and she shall seek them, but shall not find them. Then she shall say, 'I will go and return to my first husband, for it was better with me then than now.' She did not know that it was I who gave her the grain, the wine, and the oil, and who lavished upon her silver and gold that they used for Baal. Therefore I will take back my grain in its time, and my wine in its season; and I will take away my wool and my flax, which were to cover her nakedness. Now I will uncover her shame in the sight of her lovers, and no one shall rescue her out of my hand. I will put an end to all her mirth, her festivals, her new moons, her sabbaths, and all her appointed festivals. I will lay waste her vines and her fig trees, of which she said, 'These are my pay, which my lovers have given me.' I will make them a forest, and the wild animals shall devour them. I will punish her for the festival days of the Baals, when she offered incense to them and decked herself with her ring and jewelry, and went after her lovers, and forgot me, says the LORD."

"Therefore, I will now allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. From there I will give her her vineyards, and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she shall respond as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. On that day, says the LORD, you will call me, 'My husband,' and no longer will you call me, 'My Baal.' For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be mentioned by name no more. I will make for you a covenant on that day with the wild animals, the birds of the air, and the creeping things of the ground; and I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land; and I will make you lie down in safety. And I will take you for my wife forever; I will take you for my wife in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love, and in mercy. I will take you for my wife in faithfulness; and you shall know the LORD. On that day I will answer, says the LORD, I will answer the heavens and they shall answer the earth; and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil, and they shall answer Jezreel; and I will sow him for myself in the land. And I will have pity on Lo-ruhamah, and I will say to Lo-ammi, 'You are my people'; and he shall say, 'You are my God.'"

My Comments

So, I had a lot more written here but then Blogger messed up and I lost all of it. Short version, I was going to write up this blog last night but my friends showed up earlier than planned to play D&D so I never really got a chance to write up anything. After copying all the quoted text I realized there's quite a bit here to look over so I'm going to go through it a bit tonight and write up something tomorrow.

But if you just can't wait for my own critical reading, feel free to do some analysis in the comments. :)

[update] Yeah, I lied a bit. My weekend is gonna be spent slowly recovering from the epic amounts of bullshit that decided to pop up Thursday and Friday. Seriously hate my job.

[Actual blog post follows]

Yeah, I wish my job didn't affect me so much, but when I have those really bad days I tend to just curl up and have no motivation to do anything. Here's hoping this week is better, yeah?

So to start off, right off the bat we got 3 occasions of the word "whoredom" in a single sentence. That's quite a large amount of "whoredom" for such a relatively small amount of words. "Go out and get a whore wife so you can have whore children in this whore city," God spoke to Hosea. Ah, how poetic, right? Just rolls right off the tongue. Now, do we even for a second believe that once Hosea is told to get a whore wife so he can bear his whore children that Hosea took a whore wife consenting manner? I'm gonna go ahead and go with no one that one.

And thus Hosea has his children "of whoredom" and the daughter is named Lo-ruhamah, which means No Pity, and the son is named Lo-ammi, which means My People. Those seem TOTALLY equal in meaning, right? Seems like they really had positive feelings for the daughter, right? Doesn't seem like she stood a chance, even if, in the end, God decides to go ahead and take pity on her. Not sure why there's a sudden change of heart. God seems to enjoy punish people (especially when they are female in nature) for no real good reason, telling them they TOTALLY deserve this most heinous of punishments, and then deciding (after a fair amount of torture) that he shall take pity and mercy on them and making sure that the small, pitiful subject of this torture understands that while God may be showing mercy and pity that the subject by no means DESERVES such pity and mercy. Therefore bow down and worship him before you do something REALLY bad and God has to punish you again for your own good even though it hurts him more than it does you.

The bulk of Hosea 2 is fairly unremarkable. Which is funny since all of it is pretty fucking deplorable, but really it is nothing that we haven't seen before. The declaration that the people God has chosen are suddenly "whoring" themselves out to others which is just the most egregious of sins. God declaring that his people will find no refuge, not even in their "lovers." God laying his people's shame and nakedness out for all to see and take advantage of. On and on and on and on. Even God eventually taking back his "whore" of a people isn't unusual, since God does eventually forgive Israel and others their "whoring," but not until they have been good and properly punished.

God's answer to this infidelity and "whoring" is, basically, to take Israel and leave her exposed to those whom were once her "lovers" and let them violate her again and again until God has decided it has been enough. Israel's sin was "sex" and thus God sees no problem with using "sex" as a punishment. I mean, if Israel had no problem sleeping with every other god and tribe in town then why would she have a problem with those same gods and tribes taking what they want now? Sound familiar? Kind of like the common idea that prostitutes and whores and unable to be raped or that women are unable to be raped by husbands and boyfriends? Because once a woman has sex with a man she is then seen as consenting to all future sex with said man (or, in the case of prostitutes, once a woman has sex with any man she is seen as consenting to all future sex with any man) Sounds a bit like that to me. Not sure if I've brought that point up before, but this has become such a trend that it's become incredibly hard not to notice.

I'm really hoping this book isn't going to turn into another Israel punishment/torture/rape fest. I'm sooooooo tired of that nonsense. I'd honestly thought the Bible would have a bit more to offer but it seems to be stuck in a rut. A really, horrible, terrible, torturous rut.

Wednesday: More Hosea

Daniel 9-12

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Daniel 9 - No mention of any women.

Daniel 10 - No mention of any women.

11:6-7 - "After some years [the kings of the north and south] shall make an alliance, and the daughter of the king of the south shall come to the king of the north to ratify the agreement. But she shall not retain her power and his offspring shall not endure. She shall be given up, she and her attendants and her child and the one who supported her. In those times, a branch from her roots shall rise up in his place. He shall come against the army and enter the fortress of the king of the north, and he shall take action against them and prevail."
11:17 - "In order to destroy the kingdom, [the king of the south] shall give him a woman in marriage; but it shall not succeed or be to his advantage."

Daniel 12 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

Oh, women. How they just can't do anything. Gotta leave it to a man to save them and fix their mess. Though WHY the daughter of the king was sent to ratify an agreement with an enemy king is just weird. So when she's alone, without a man, her power is taken. It's not until a male "branch from her roots" comes up that the south was able to prevail against the north.

And then we get a trickster woman to top it all off who is part of the plan to take down the kingdom of the north! So wait, a woman can't take care of negotiations by herself but a woman can most definitely take down a kingdom through use of sex and marriage? Once again, our power lies solely with our sexuality which is capable of taking down ANY man. Female sexuality is something to be feared and cautious about, lest a woman be the reason our lives and good future crumble before our eyes. A smart and capable woman, no worried there, but the power we hold between our legs is definitely something that, if left to its own devices and left unchecked, could destroy any man.

Anyone see how that basic idea is still around today?

Wednesday: Hosea

Daniel 5-8

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

5:2-4 - "Under the influence of the wine, Belshazzar commanded that they bring in the vessels of gold and silver that his father Nebuchadnezzar had taken out of the temple in Jerusalem, so that the king and his lords, his wives, and his concubines might drink from them. So they brought in the vessels of gold and silver that had been taken out of the temple, the house of God in Jerusalem, and the king and his lords, his wives, and his concubines drank from them. They drank the wine and praised the gods of gold and silver, bronze, iron, wood, and stone."
5:10-12 - "The queen, when she heard the discussion [about the writing on the wall] of the king and his lords, came into the banqueting hall. The queen said, 'O king, live forever! Do not let your thoughts terrify you or your face grow pale. There is a man in your kingdom who is endowed with a spirit of the holy gods. In the days of your father he was found to have enlightenment, understanding, and wisdom like the wisdom of the gods. Your father, King Nebuchadnezzar, made him chief of the magicians, enchanters, Chaldeans, and diviners, because an excellent spirit, knowledge, and understanding to interpret dreams, explain riddles, and solve problems were found in Daniel, whom the king named Belteshazzar. Now let Daniel be called, and he will give the interpretation.'"
5:23 - "You have exalted yourself against the Lord of heaven! The vessels of his temple have been brought in before you, and you and your lords, your wives, and your concubines have been drinking wine from them."

6:24 - "The king gave a command, and those who had accused Daniel were brought and thrown into the den of lions - they, their children, and their wives. Before they reached the bottom of the den the lions overpowered them and broke all their bones in pieces."

Daniel 7 - No mention of any women.

Daniel 8 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

More women being punished for something their husbands did. Yay. X<

Sorry, my analysis isn't gonna go much further than that. There isn't really a whole lot here and I've had a wicked headache for the better part of the day. Word to the wise: wigs are just not good to wear during the summer with highs in the triple digits. Think I'm gonna stick with head wraps and bandannas until it cools off...

Friday: More Daniel

Daniel 1-4

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Daniel 1 - No mention of any women.

Daniel 2 - No mention of any women.

Daniel 3 - No mention of any women.

Daniel 4 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

... well... at least we're out of the wrathful doom and gloom God books. Now we're just reading a story about how super awesome and wonderful Daniel is. Which, you know, is a BIT better than God killing everyone for no good reason but seems to leave a lot to desire in the women department.

Friday: More Daniel

Ezekiel 44-48

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

44:22 - "[The Levites] shall not marry a widow, or a divorced woman, but only a virgin of the stock of the house of Israel, or a widow who is the widow of a priest."
44:25 - "They shall not defile themselves by going near to a dead person; for father or mother, however, and for son or daughter, and for brother or unmarried sister they may defile themselves."

Ezekiel 45 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 46 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 47 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 48 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

Finally done with Ezekiel! :D Dancing time, people!

Is it possible maybe we'll get something a little new in the next book?

Monday: Daniel

Ezekiel 39-43

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Ezekiel 39 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 40 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 41 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 42 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 43 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

*yawn*

Friday: More Ezekiel

Ezekiel 34-38

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Ezekiel 34 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 35 - No mention of any women.

36:17 - "Mortal, when the house of Israel lived on their own soil, they defiled it with their ways and their deeds; their conduct in my sight like the uncleanness of a woman on her menstrual period."

Ezekiel 37 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 38 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

Note: The repellent and CONSCIOUS actions of the people of Israel is JUST LIKE a woman's natural and NON-CONSCIOUS menstrual cycle.

Remember, ladies, despite your lack of control over your natural bodily functions men will STILL blame, shame and punish you for having them.

As a side note and possible future post topic: I did not know that "smokin' hot wives" and referring to your wife as "bride" was a Christian thing. Apparently, it is. When I get around to checking this out further I can guarantee there will be a post filled to the brim with rant. Until then: Anyone else notice how that NASCAR prayer listed "smoking hot wife" within a list full of objects and property (tires, cars, engines, and what have you)? Stay classy, Christians.

Wednesday: More Ezekiel

Ezekiel 29-33

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

29:12 - "I will make the land of Egypt a desolation among desolated countries; and her cities shall be a desolation forty years among cities that are laid waste. I will scatter the Egyptians among the nations, and disperse them among the countries."

30:18 - "At Tehaphnehes the day shall be dark, when I break there the dominion of Egypt, and its proud might shall come to an end; the city shall be covered by a cloud, and its daughter-towns shall go into captivity."

Ezekiel 31 - No mention of any women.

32:16 - "This is a lamentation; it shall be chanted. The women of the nations shall chant it. Over Egypt and all its hordes they shall chant it, says the Lord GOD."
32:18 - "Mortal, wail over the hordes of Egypt, and send them down, with Egypt and the daughters of majestic nations, to the world below, with those who go down to the Pit."

33:26 - "You depend on your swords, you commit abominations, and each of you defiles his neighbor's wife; shall you then possess the land?"

My Comments

Blah blah blah I'm God blah rar I'm big and mean and scary rar argh blah rawr I will punish anyone who doesn't love exactly as I want them to blah blah blood blah guts blah destruction and turmoil and devastation and famine and plagues and death and bloodshed and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...

Yeah, thiiiiis is getting a bit dull...

Ezekiel 24-28

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

24:7-9 - "For the blood she shed is inside it; she placed it on a bare rock; she did not pour it out on the ground, to cover it with earth. To rouse my wrath, to take vengeance, I have placed the blood she shed on a bare rock, so that it may not be covered. Therefore thus says the Lord GOD: Woe to the bloody city! I will even make the pile great."
24:18 - "So I spoke to the people in the morning, and at evening my wife died. And on the next morning I did as I was commanded."
24:21 "Say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord GOD: I will profane my sanctuary, the pride of your power, the delight of your eyes, and your heart's desire; and your sons and your daughters whom you left behind shall fall by the sword."
24:25-26 - "And you, mortal, on the day when I take from them their stronghold, their joy and glory, the delight of their eyes and their heart's affection, and also their sons and their daughters, on that day, one who has escaped will come to you to report to you the news."

Ezekiel 25 - No mention of any women.

26:5-6 - "[Tyre] shall become, in the midst of the sea, a place for spreading nets. I have spoken, says the Lord GOD. It shall become plunder for the nations, and its daughter-towns in the country shall be killed by the sword. Then they shall know that I am the LORD."
26:8 "Your daughter-towns in the country he shall put to the sword. He shall set up a siege wall against you, cast up a ramp against you, and raise a roof of shields against you."

Ezekiel 27 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 28 - No mention of any women.

My Comments

Am I the only one who is pretty sure that 24:7-9 is describing menstrual blood and not just any old blood? That's kind of the automatic thought that pops in my head whenever the Bible discusses the bleeding of a woman and doesn't specifically describe a wound or attack. Especially when the bleeding of men is never discussed in this manner, where the blood is unclean and shameful. God REALLY hates menstruation doesn't he? You'd think if it was just so disgusting he would have designed us differently. But then how would he convince others of out inferiority and uncleanliness if he didn't design us this way? Or properly punish us for that whole tree of knowledge thing? I dunno, but either way we get another reminder that female blood is just a horrible thing and shameful for others to see.

Also have to love the seeming randomness of 24:18. God's basically telling everybody that people are gonna die and you shouldn't give a shit about it because, really, there are far more important things at hand than people dying. So we get this small bit about how well this man follows these rules. The guy's wife dies and he just carries on. His wife's demise is nothing more than a side note in this whole affair. And really, are we supposed to be IMPRESSED with his callousness towards his wife? When we've had Lot just leave his wife as a pillar of salt without even a single tear being shed or the Levite who let his concubine be gang raped to death and then cut her into 12 parts to send to the tribes of Israel. Yeah, I have a hard time believing that many of these lead men in the Bible give two shits about their wives so I'm not all that "impressed" by this act of bravery in the face of the death of a wife.

Friday: More Ezekiel

Ezekiel 23

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Ezekiel 23 - Oholah and Oholibah

The word of the LORD came to me: Mortal, there were two women, the daughters of one mother; they played the whore in Egypt; they played the whore in their youth; their breasts were caressed there, and their virgin bosoms were fondled. Oholah was the name of the elder and Oholibah the name of her sister. They became mine, and they bore sons and daughters. As for their names, Oholah is Samaria, and Oholibah is Jerusalem.

Oholah played the whore while she was mine; she lusted after her lovers the Assyrians, warriors clothed in blue, governors and commanders, all of them handsome young men, mounted horsemen. She bestowed her favors upon them, the choicest men of Assyria all of them; and she defiled herself with all the idols of everyone for whom she lusted. She did not give up her whorings that she had practiced since Egypt; for in her youth men had lain with her and fondled her virgin bosom and poured out their lust upon her. Therefore I delivered her into the hands of her lovers, into the hands of the Assyrians, for whom she lusted. These uncovered her nakedness; they seized her sons and her daughters; and they killed her with the sword. Judgment was executed upon her, and she became a byword among women.

Her sister Oholibah saw this, yet she was more corrupt than she in her lusting and in her whorings, which were worse than those of her sister. She lusted after the Assyrians, governors and commanders, warriors clothed in full armor, mounted horsemen, all of them handsome young men. And I saw that she was defiled; they both took the same way. But she carried her whorings further; she saw male figures carved on the wall, images of the Chaldeans portrayed in vermilion, with belts around their waists, with flowing turbans on their heads, all of them looking like officers--a picture of Babylonians whose native land was Chaldea. When she saw them she lusted after them, and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. And the Babylonians came to her into the bed of love, and they defiled her with their lust; and after she defiled herself with them, she turned from them in disgust. When she carried on her whorings so openly and flaunted her nakedness, I turned in disgust from her, as I had turned from her sister. Yet she increased her whorings, remembering the days of her youth, when she played the whore in the land of Egypt and lusted after her paramours there, whose members were like those of donkeys, and whose emission was like that of stallions. Thus you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when the Egyptians fondled your bosom and caressed your young breasts.

Therefore, O Oholibah, thus says the Lord GOD: I will rouse against you your lovers from whom you turned in disgust, and I will bring them against you from every side: the Babylonians and all the Chaldeans, Pekod and Shoa and Koa, and all the Assyrians with them, handsome young men, governors and commanders all of them, officers and warriors, all of them riding on horses. They shall come against you from the north with chariots and wagons and a host of peoples; they shall set themselves against you on every side with buckler, shield, and helmet, and I will commit the judgment to them, and they shall judge you according to their ordinances. I will direct my indignation against you, in order that they may deal with you in fury. They shall cut off your nose and your ears, and your survivors shall fall by the sword. They shall seize your sons and your daughters, and your survivors shall be devoured by fire. They shall also strip you of your clothes and take away your fine jewels. So I will put an end to your lewdness and your whoring brought from the land of Egypt; you shall not long for them, or remember Egypt any more. For thus says the Lord GOD: I will deliver you into the hands of those whom you hate, into the hands of those from whom you turned in disgust; and they shall deal with you in hatred, and take away all the fruit of your labor, and leave you naked and bare, and the nakedness of your whorings shall be exposed. Your lewdness and your whorings have brought this upon you, because you played the whore with the nations, and polluted yourself with their idols. You have gone the way of your sister; therefore I will give her cup into your hand. Thus says the Lord GOD: You shall drink your sister's cup, deep and wide; you shall be scorned and derided, it holds so much. You shall be filled with drunkenness and sorrow. A cup of horror and desolation is the cup of your sister Samaria; you shall drink it and drain it out, and gnaw its sherds, and tear out your breasts; for I have spoken, says the Lord GOD. Therefore thus says the Lord GOD: Because you have forgotten me and cast me behind your back, therefore bear the consequences of your lewdness and whorings.

The LORD said to me: Mortal, will you judge Oholah and Oholibah? Then declare to them their abominable deeds. For they have committed adultery, and blood is on their hands; with their idols they have committed adultery; and they have even offered up to them for food the children whom they had borne to me. Moreover this they have done to me: they have defiled my sanctuary on the same day and profaned my sabbaths. For when they had slaughtered their children for their idols, on the same day they came into my sanctuary to profane it. This is what they did in my house.

They even sent for men to come from far away, to whom a messenger was sent, and they came. For them you bathed yourself, painted your eyes, and decked yourself with ornaments; you sat on a stately couch, with a table spread before it on which you had placed my incense and my oil. The sound of a raucous multitude was around her, with many of the rabble brought in drunken from the wilderness; and they put bracelets on the arms of the women, and beautiful crowns upon their heads.

Then I said, Ah, she is worn out with adulteries, but they carry on their sexual acts with her. For they have gone in to her, as one goes in to a whore. Thus they went in to Oholah and to Oholibah, wanton women. But righteous judges shall declare them guilty of adultery and of bloodshed; because they are adulteresses and blood is on their hands.

For thus says the Lord GOD: Bring up an assembly against them, and make them an object of terror and of plunder. The assembly shall stone them and with their swords they shall cut them down; they shall kill their sons and their daughters, and burn up their houses. Thus will I put an end to lewdness in the land, so that all women may take warning and not commit lewdness as you have done. They shall repay you for your lewdness, and you shall bear the penalty for your sinful idolatry; and you shall know that I am the Lord GOD.

My Comments

Today's "whore" count is not as bad as the last one, but still gets up to 15 before the chapter is over. Not that this chapter isn't as bad as 16, oh no. The only reason the "whore" count isn't as high is because the author got MUCH more colorful with the descriptions of said whorings. I mean, really, someone got their thesaurus out and probably a few erotic writings in order to REALLY flesh out just how WHORE-ible (see what I did there?) Oholah and Oholibah are. They lust. They are defiled. They are caressed and fondled. They flaunt their nakedness. They are come into like prostitutes.

And, really, my brain could have done without the imagery of donkey penis and stallion ejaculate. I mean holy shit, this chapter reads pretty much like a violent porn. Adulterous women lusting after hordes of men and seeking out men they see in sculpture, being defiled over and over and over again by these men. All the while also being constantly punished and wounded by these men and others. Hell, even when these women are seemingly satisfied with their "whorings" the men continue their sexual acts with them (this rape being included as part of their adultery against God).

So... yeah. Here I thought Ezekiel 16 was the worst. Like I said, by no means does this chapter make Ezekiel 16 any better. This chapter isn't quite as good about showing all of the bigger sexist themes of the Bible, but it is JUST as good at giving you woman hatred in concentrate. Hatred of female sexuality, hatred of female autonomy, hatred of female control. The whole chapter could be replaces by big red letters that just said, "WOMEN ARE EVIL WHORES!!! WHORISH-WHORY-WHORE-WHORES!!! WHOOOOOOOOORES!!!" Like God got really drunk at the bar, found a few other misogynist douchebags to pal with and proceeded to just rip the women in his life a new one (with added color commentary from the douchebag gallery).

And since we're only 23 chapters into a 48 chapter book, I won't even bother thinking that this will be the last chapter long "whore" spiel that we come across. Seriously, the Bible is just way too fucking long...

Monday: More Ezekiel

Ezekiel 19-22

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

19:1-5 - Israel Degraded "As for you, raised up a lamentation for the princes of Israel, and say: What a lioness was your mother among lions! She lay down among young lions, rearing her cubs. She raised up one of her clubs; he became a young lion, and he learned to catch prey; he devoured humans. The nations sounded alarm against him; he was caught in their pit; and they brought him with hooks to the land of Eygpt. When she saw that she was thwarted, that her hope was lost, she took another of her cubs and made him a young lion."
19:10-14 - "Your mother was like a vine in a vineyard transplanted by the water, fruitful and full of branches from abundant water. its strongest stem became a ruler's scepter; it towered aloft among the thick boughs; it stood out in its height with its mass of branches. But it was plucked up in fury, cast down to the ground; the eat wind dried it up; its fruit was stripped off, its strong stem was withered; the fire consumed it. Now it is transplanted into the wilderness, into a dry and thirsty land. And fire had gone out from its stem, has consumed its branches and fruit, so that there remains in it no strong stem, no scepter for ruling."

Ezekiel 20 - No mention of any women.

Ezekiel 21 - No mention of any women.

22:7 - "Father and mother are treated with contempt in you [Israel]; the alien residing within you suffers extortion; the orphan and the widow are wronged in you."
22:10-11 - "In you they uncover their fathers' nakedness; in you they violate women in their menstrual periods. One commits abomination with his neighbor's wife; another lewdly defiles his daughter-in-law; another in you defiles his sister, his father's daughter."
22:25 - "Its princes within it are like a roaring lion tearing the prey; they have devoured human lives; they have taken treasure and precious things, that have made many widows within it."

My Comments

Man, it's been a while since we've had mention of how DIRTY and UNCLEAN women are when they happen to be on the rag. Yep, keeping it classy there, Bible, as usual. Also been a while since we've had a real reminder that women that belong to men are strictly OFF LIMITS. But, as usual, women who are not owned by men are totally fair game (and if you manage to rape an unclaimed woman you might even be able to buy her from her father for cheap).

Yep, the Bible is TOTALLY not anti-woman. Nope, not one bit. -_-

Friday: More Ezekiel

Ezekiel 17-18

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Ezekiel 17 - No mention of any women.

18:6 - "If [a man is righteous and] does not eat upon the mountains or lift up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, does not defile his neighbor's wife or approach a woman during her menstrual period... [he shall not die]."
18:11 - "[If a son] does any of these things (though his father does none of them), who eats upon the mountains, defiles his neighbor's wife... [he shall die]."
18:15 - "[But if a man has a son who sees his sins and does not] eat upon the mountain or lift up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, does not defile his neighbor's wife... [the father shall die but the son shall not]."

My Comments

Nice to see God (all knowing and unchanging, right?) seems to have changed his mind on the whole "the sins of the father shall pass on to the sons" thing. Funny how God does tat but no one seems to question it.

If God's will is supposed to be our standard of morals, how can we judge any morals when God simply changes his mind at the drop of a hat? What if God's morals during Biblical times are COMPLETELY different now, but we wouldn't know because God seems to have given up the whole prophet bag. Well, unless you count the Book of Mormon, which I really don't.

How can you base your morals on a book which can't even keep it's own ideas on morality straight for 700 pages?

Wednesday: More Ezekiel

Ezekiel 16

The Facts (Chapter number: Verse)

Ezekiel 16 - God's Faithless Bride

The word of the Lord came to me: Mortal, make known to Jerusalem her abominations, and say, Thus says the Lord God to Jerusalem: Your origin and your birth were in the land of the Canaanites; your father was an Amorite, and your mother a Hittite. As for your birth, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to cleanse you, nor rubbed with salt, nor wrapped in cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you out of compassion for you; but you were thrown out in the open field, for you were abhorred on the day you were born.

I passed by you, and saw you flailing about in your blood. As you lay in your blood, I said to you, "Live! and grow up like a plant of the field." You grew up and became tall and arrived at full womanhood; your breasts were formed, and your hair had grown; yet you were naked and bare.

I passed by you again and looked on you; you were at the age for love. I spread the edge of my cloak over you, and covered your nakedness: I pledged myself to you and entered into a covenant with you, says the Lord God, and you became mine. Then I bathed you with water and washed off the blood from you, and anointed you with oil. I clothed you with embroidered cloth and with sandals of fine leather; I bound you in fine linen and covered you with rich fabric. I adorned you with ornaments: I put bracelets on your arms, a chain on your neck, a ring on your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown upon your head. You were adorned with gold and silver, while your clothing was of fine linen, rich fabric, and embroidered cloth. You had choice flour and honey and oil for food. You grew exceedingly beautiful, fit to be a queen. Your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, for it was perfect because of my splendor that I had bestowed on you, says the Lord God.

But you trusted in your beauty, and played the whore because of your fame, and lavished your whorings on any passer-by. You took some of your garments, and made for yourself colorful shrines, and on them played the whore; nothing like this has ever been or ever shall be. You also took your beautiful jewels of my gold and my silver that I had given you, and made for yourself male images, and with them played the whore; and you took your embroidered garments to cover them, and set my oil and my incense before them. Also my bread that I gave you--I fed you with choice flour and oil and honey--you set it before them as a pleasing odor; and so it was, says the Lord God. You took your sons and your daughters, whom you had borne to me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. As if your whorings were not enough! You slaughtered my children and delivered them up as an offering to them. And in all your abominations and your whorings you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare, flailing about in your blood.

After all your wickedness (woe, woe to you! says the Lord GOD), you built yourself a platform and made yourself a lofty place in every square; at the head of every street you built your lofty place and prostituted your beauty, offering yourself to every passer-by, and multiplying your whoring. You played the whore with the Egyptians, your lustful neighbors, multiplying your whoring, to provoke me to anger. Therefore I stretched out my hand against you, reduced your rations, and gave you up to the will of your enemies, the daughters of the Philistines, who were ashamed of your lewd behavior. You played the whore with the Assyrians, because you were insatiable; you played the whore with them, and still you were not satisfied. You multiplied your whoring with Chaldea, the land of merchants; and even with this you were not satisfied.

How sick is your heart, says the Lord God, that you did all these things, the deeds of a brazen whore; building your platform at the head of every street, and making your lofty place in every square! Yet you were not like a whore, because you scorned payment. Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband! Gifts are given to all whores; but you gave your gifts to all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from all around for your whorings. So you were different from other women in your whorings: no one solicited you to play the whore; and you gave payment, while no payment was given to you; you were different.

Therefore, O whore, hear the word of the Lord: Thus says the Lord God, Because your lust was poured out and your nakedness uncovered in your whoring with your lovers, and because of all your abominable idols, and because of the blood of your children that you gave to them, therefore, I will gather all your lovers, with whom you took pleasure, all those you loved and all those you hated; I will gather them against you from all around, and will uncover your nakedness to them, so that they may see all your nakedness. I will judge you as women who commit adultery and shed blood are judged, and bring blood upon you in wrath and jealousy. I will deliver you into their hands, and they shall throw down your platform and break down your lofty places; they shall strip you of your clothes and take your beautiful objects and leave you naked and bare. They shall bring up a mob against you, and they shall stone you and cut you to pieces with their swords. They shall burn your houses and execute judgments on you in the sight of many women; I will stop you from playing the whore, and you shall also make no more payments. So I will satisfy my fury on you, and my jealousy shall turn away from you; I will be calm, and will be angry no longer. Because you have not remembered the days of your youth, but have enraged me with all these things; therefore, I have returned your deeds upon your head, says the Lord God.

Have you not committed lewdness beyond all your abominations? See, everyone who uses proverbs will use this proverb about you, "Like mother, like daughter." You are the daughter of your mother, who loathed her husband and her children; and you are the sister of your sisters, who loathed their husbands and their children. Your mother was a Hittite and your father an Amorite. Your elder sister is Samaria, who lived with her daughters to the north of you; and your younger sister, who lived to the south of you, is Sodom with her daughters. You not only followed their ways, and acted according to their abominations; within a very little time you were more corrupt than they in all your ways. As I live, says the Lord God, your sister Sodom and her daughters have not done as you and your daughters have done. This was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. They were haughty, and did abominable things before me; therefore I removed them when I saw it. Samaria has not committed half your sins; you have committed more abominations than they, and have made your sisters appear righteous by all the abominations that you have committed. Bear your disgrace, you also, for you have brought about for your sisters a more favorable judgment; because of your sins in which you acted more abominably than they, they are more in the right than you. So be ashamed, you also, and bear your disgrace, for you have made your sisters appear righteous.

I will restore their fortunes, the fortunes of Sodom and her daughters and the fortunes of Samaria and her daughters, and I will restore your own fortunes along with theirs, in order that you may bear your disgrace and be ashamed of all that you have done, becoming a consolation to them. As for your sisters, Sodom and her daughters shall return to their former state, Samaria and her daughters shall return to their former state, and you and your daughters shall return to your former state. Was not your sister Sodom a byword in your mouth in the day of your pride, before your wickedness was uncovered? Now you are a mockery to the daughters of Aram and all her neighbors, and to the daughters of the Philistines, those all around who despise you. You must bear the penalty of your lewdness and your abominations, says the LORD.

An Everlasting Covenant

Yes, thus says the Lord GOD: I will deal with you as you have done, you who have despised the oath, breaking the covenant; yet I will remember my covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish with you an everlasting covenant. Then you will remember your ways, and be ashamed when I take your sisters, both your elder and your younger, and give them to you as daughters, but not on account of my covenant with you. I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the LORD, in order that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I forgive you all that you have done, says the Lord GOD.

My Comments

Just to get it out of the way: God is a creepy bastard.

Gotta love how incredibly passive Jerusalem is in this entire affair. She was born alone and untouched, left to her own devices which apparently means she just sat there because she can't possibly do anything herself. She flailed aimlessly in her own blood (menstrual?) until God happened along and told her to get up and grow. She does as told and then when God comes by her again and sees her at the "age of love" he basically just descends upon her and takes her as his bride without any input from Jerusalem herself in this entire affair. God dresses her up in fine cloth and jewelry and even makes sure to remind her that the only reason she has gained fame is because of the "splendor that I had bestowed upon you."

So let's go over the beginning of this again. God finds Jerusalem, takes as his bride and pretties her up and then basically tells her that he made her and he owns her. Big implication in this whole affair being that what God has given God can take away just like that. No matter that Jerusalem hasn't had any actual input in any of this, God is calling all the shots. (Seriously, God, just because the the bagpipe didn't say no doesn't mean she's okay with it)

But then, oh no! Jerusalem starts WHORING around. And yes, I take A LOT of offense at the number of times the word "whore" is used in this chapter alone. I bolded all the instances of the word "whore" or "whoring" (I didn't bother counting any synonyms for "whore" or "whoring") and there is a whopping 21 instances of those words in this chapter. The chapter is only 63 verses long and it's mentioned 21 times? Really? It was actually physically hard to read the rest of the chapter after about the first 5 uses of the word "whore." And after number 15 I was about ready to throw the damned book across the floor and throw a match at it.

So yeah, Jerusalem is apparently cheating on God, a "man" whom she never seemed to want to be with in the first place. She was taken. Conquered. Made property. Essentially raped and decorated with jewels meant to entrap her to a "man" she would have never actively attached herself to if she'd had any say in the matter. Are we surprised that Jerusalem isn't 100% faithful to God here? Especially when other tribal gods, as we've read previously, are much more friendly and willing to aid her? God takes her, openly shows the unequal power balance in the relationship (I made you and I can break you), and then is never really especially protective of her or loving to her. But, as we have learned so much through the last few books, cheating on God is a VERY big no no (pretty much the ONLY big no no in the "good book") and thus God proceeds to punish Jerusalem for the "abominations" she has committed.

Now, I find it interesting when God mentions how he shall punish Jerusalem "as women who have committed adultery and shed blood are judged." Now, looking back at the laws set down for adultery in Leviticus 20:10-16, "If a man commits adultery with his neighbors wife then both he and the wife shall be put to death. The man who lies with his father's wife has seen his father's nakedness, and both he and the wife shall be put to death. If a man lies with his daughter-in-law then both shall be put to death. If a man takes a wife and her mother also that is depravity, and they shall all be burned to death. If a woman approaches an animal to have sex with it then she and the animal shall be put to death."

So, why, when God talks about Jerusalem's punishment for her adultery, does God allow those Jerusalem committed adultery with to get involved with Jerusalem's punishment? If we're going by the very rules God himself set up, BOTH parties should be killed/beaten, not just the wife. And yet, here we have God punishing Jerusalem by having her lovers break her, strip her, leave her bare and cut her. God even makes a point of this basically being a message to women everywhere. Jerusalem is being made an example so that women may know exactly what can be expected if they ever try to "stray" from the husbands and "whore" around with other men. Obviously, most of these stories about women in the Bible and the extreme punishments they face are meant to be lessons for other women (for example, Jezebel), but this is the first instance in which it is very clearly stated what the intent and purpose of this graphic depiction of Jerusalem's punishment is meant to do.

Even when God restores Jerusalem's fortunes it's meant as a punishment. "I will restore their fortunes, the fortunes of Sodom and her daughters and the fortunes of Samaria and her daughters, and I will restore your own fortunes along with theirs, in order that you may bear your disgrace and be ashamed of all that you have done, becoming a consolation to them... I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the Lord, in order that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I forgive you all that you have done, says the Lord God." God restores Jerusalem only so that she may continue to suffer. I know I referenced the To The Pain scene from Princess Bride already, but again it is very relevant. God wants to leave Jerusalem alive so that she may continue to be shamed by those around her who have denigrated her and seen her nakedness. So that she may forever remember the pain that she was put through when she dared to cheat on God. So that Jerusalem will be alive and remember and thus be silenced for fear that she may incur God's wrath yet again. The bit about her being left "confounded" is odd, since that basically implies that Jerusalem is left alive and wounded without any real idea of why it all happened to her. All she is meant to know is that she is God's bitch and if she doesn't stay quiet and completely under his will and command she will face that same pain again.

Jerusalem remembers the pain but she does not know exactly why she has been made to suffer this pain? Is this because she is too stupid (and female) to really understand what she did wrong? I mean, God did find her flailing in her own blood, seemingly without the presence of mind to even get up out of her own filth. Or is this because God, as is his usual modus operandi, punished Jerusalem without telling her why (for an example of this, see Job, which will of course make it almost impossible for her to not make the same mistake twice.

I think, from now on, if anyone ever asks me why I think the Bible is garbage this chapter will be my answer. It's like all the bullshit sexist messages of the Bible all rolled into one. Women are passive. Women are too stupid to do anything without a man telling them what to do. Women are too evil to be trusted and must be kept under strict and unyielding control by men to keep them in line. Women are always consenting to sex, especially when they are incapable of simply just don't say no. Rape and torture is an acceptable punishment for a woman who has cheated on her spouse. Women are bought by men when they are married and adorned with jewelry (ie. engagement rings) and are thus property and without wills and desires of their own. Even when you punish a woman, she is too stupid to understand exactly what happened which is why no punishment is too severe and no form of control too ridiculous. Women are best when they sit down and shut up and just let the man do all the thinking and talking.

Yep, I think this will be my go to chapter from now on. Thank you, Bible, for distilling all your woman hating into one convenient chapter so that it'll be much easier for me to reference the biggest shitstain of the Bible in 8 easy syllables: E-ze-ki-el-chap-ter-six-teen.

Monday: More Ezekiel